Her Shadows His Secrets Page 6

  Ego-crushing siren… for now.

  “Oh, you will be, greens. I plan to see a lot of you.” I leave no room for her to read into what I’m saying. I lay it all out. Hanna will be in my hands, in my bed, and at my will. We won’t have a relationship beyond that, and I intend to make her see just how fucking thrilling this town can be now that I’m here. Before, it was dull, and after me, she will regret ever meeting me. And I’m the bastard who knows it but don’t care. I want her. Crave her. Want to taste that skin against my tongue.

  “In your dreams, doorknob.” Like that, she’s gone, letting herself in and shutting the door. I watch the house for a few moments longer before I finally turn and head home. I had planned for tonight to be spent on more time with her, but that will have to happen another night. If I’m going to get her where I need her, I may just have to turn on the real charm, the romance I will regretfully have to tell her isn’t for anything other than respect for her, while I plan to disrespect her in the bedroom.

  And I know she will love it. No matter how hard she has to fight her inner warnings. I will break her under me.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  HANNA

  What the hell was that?

  Hanna, do not—I repeat—do not let him get in your head.

  He’s messing with me. He has to be. I internally fight with myself as I undress and turn on the shower, still not used to not having to worry about the hot water running out. I’ve been here a short amount of time, and it’s been a hell of a ride already, especially today.

  Brenda’s brother, is… God, he’s hot. Attractive, and not just the normal, decently attractive kind. I’m talking out of this world, someone who you see in movies or have modeling careers. Not someone who could ever be seen with me. Definitely not someone who would want to place their perfectly masculine hands on my imperfect body. He is just playing a game. A cruel one, and I won’t let him in.

  But it doesn’t make it any less painful. It hurts. Why do women like me have to be belittled, shamed, and mocked? Can’t we just be left alone… or better yet, loved? Aren’t we deserving? Do the lines stretching across our skin mar us to the point of repulsion? Are the curves so disgusting that they don’t deserve the intimate touch of a man who we desire? Whether they be men like Theo or men just like us? From all types of men. Why are women who look like me so hard to love for all the imperfections we carry instead of all the other things we have to offer? Better yet, why are bodies like mine considered imperfect at all?

  I stare at myself in the mirror, now stripped of any fabric. Even I can’t stand the sight of me. The world has made women like me seem so undeserving and abhorrent that even we can’t see anything worthy of touching, loving, or desiring. What a brutal world, and how pitiful that people will always find it acceptable to hurt and tear us apart until all we are is skin, bones, fat—just bodies. Not humans. We are at the mercy of a world so cruel.

  Shaking my head, I let those thoughts go.

  He’s just as shitty as the rest the world. Don’t let his nice talk fool you.

  Stepping into the water, I ignore anything else but the task of washing away the night and preparing for sleep. I’ve still been sleeping on the couch downstairs at night. I haven’t been able to feel settled enough to make myself at home yet. I’ve really just been working, spending time in the garden, and reading on the porch, with Dorothy and Clyde running around the front yard.

  Maybe one day I’ll find the reason JD never came to me or reached out but left everything he had to his name to me. That’s reaching; I doubt I ever will, but it’s nice to pretend, isn’t it? The water feels nice, I’m exhausted honestly, and I’m thankful I have the next two days at home, because my trainer had these days off prior to my starting there. Now, I can spend time outside in the garden. I also picked up a new novel I’m dying to devour. A mystery thriller romance. Yes, please.

  Climbing out, I dry my feet on the shower mat and wrap the bath blanket around my body. Dorothy and Clyde stare up at me as I put on lotion and face moisturizer. They truly have not left my side anytime I’m home. They must miss my grandfather; you can see it in their eyes, I swear it. But the gentle giants protect me like no one nor nothing has before.

  “You two hungry? Let’s have a snack, huh?” I drop to my haunches and pet their heads before moving to get dressed.

  I put on a camisole nightie that reaches midthigh, the white silky fabric cool against my freshly heated skin from the shower. I put my hair up in a towel and head downstairs, the pups in tow. Opening the fridge, I pull out some of the special dog food I got this week. It’s supposed to be super healthy for them, and they are already on their second bag.

  They start to devour it, and I leave them to it, heading toward the living room. I leave the light off, the kitchen’s giving me enough illumination to see everything I need. Laying out the blanket, I make the couch up for the night, turning to grab my pillow off the chair in the corner. Suddenly, I’m stopped when the room brightens from headlights hitting the wall as someone pulls up the dirt driveway.

  It happens then, for the first time. The anxiety rises into my chest, causing my heart to beat at a rapid pace.

  New York.

  I see myself in that small apartment, afraid of who was on the other side of the door, trying to get in. The familiar sensation of being watched anywhere I went creeping in. My chest rises and falls quickly as I try to calm myself enough to walk to the window. I fail miserably… until warm fur hits both sides of me.

  This brings me back into the moment, aware of my surroundings. All doors are locked, and I’m safer in this house than I was in that apartment. And to top it off, I have the alarm system.

  “Shit.” I forgot to set it, like I often do. Moving quietly as if they can hear me, I go to the front door and set the alarm. I release a deep breath, close my eyes for a moment, then peek out the window beside the front door to see a black truck with headlights and a spotlight on. But whoever is in there isn’t getting out, and with all the lights shining directly on the house, I can’t make out who it is. My heart is running rampant, and my palms are sweating, my nails digging imprints in them. I pick up my phone to call Brenda, and right as she answers, the truck backs out and heads off down the highway.

  “Hey! You okay?” Loud music plays, telling me she’s still out.

  “Shit. Yes, sorry, I just freaked out for no reason. Someone pulled into the driveway and stayed there without getting out. They just got back on the highway. They probably got lost.” Placing my hand over my heart, I step back and head into the living room to take a seat on the couch and attempt to calm down.

  “Oh, hun! You’re okay! Want me to send my brother back?”

  Instantly, I’m able to take my mind off what happened, and I blurt out, “No! I mean, no thank you. It was nothing. I was just a little spooked for some reason. Maybe the beer got to me. I haven’t drank in a while.” I awkwardly laugh.

  Seriously, I sound mental. Brenda doesn’t know anything about the whole situation back in New York. After telling her so much already, this one seems like it should be a couple months of knowing each other before I drop a “yeah, so I think I had a stalker,” or “something weird, when I found out about my grandpa, I left in the middle of the night, ditching everything without a word and brought only a few things with me.”

  I have yet to call the landlord and tell him I left. Right now, I’m focusing on getting settled, and with a new job and some of his inheritance, I’ll be able to pay the rent there until I feel I can go back, get rid of everything, and end the lease.

  One overwhelming task at a time, Hanna.

  “Are you sure? He would be more than happy to. It was most likely a lost out-of-towner, but you can never be too sure.”

  “They left, so there isn’t anything he could do. If they come back or it happens again, I will take that raincheck. Thanks, Brenda, and I’m sorry I left so abruptly.”

  “No! Don’t worry! I will come by after work tomorrow, and we can have dinner and chat a bit more. I hope Theo wasn’t a total shithead.”

  “No, he wasn’t. He was surprisingly decent.” I leave out the part where he dropped hints of wanting to hook up with me, because it’s too hurtful, and I think she and I both know he’s doing it to be a dick. I don’t need to cause a family feud over it. I’m a big girl. I got it.

  “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow. You fed me last time, so I will bring the dessert—store bought, because I can’t cook nor bake, so that’s the best way I can repay! Unless you want me to order takeout?” she hollers as the bar-goers and music seem to get louder and rowdier.

  “Sounds good, and no, I can cook! I love it! See ya then, and have a great night.”

  “Oh, I’ll try. The townies who get too drunk and a bit handsy showed up, so I might be calling it a night as well. See ya, girl!”

  “Bye-bye.” I laugh at her comment, ending the call.

  I really need to get a grip. This is not New York, and clearly whoever that was who always tried to get in my place isn’t here. We are thousands of miles away. Can’t start this new life if I’m constantly reliving the old one.

  My head starts to pound. All the night’s events and constant battle in my head have collided and taken me down. I shut off all the lights, double checking first that the alarm is set, and then I get to the couch, my eyes shuttering within minutes. Tomorrow is a new day.

  I wake to the dogs barking, and it’s still dark out. Looking at my phone, I see I’ve slept maybe an hour. What in the hell? Then it hits me.

  Did they come find me?

  Shooting up, I start to freak out again, and that’s when there’s a pounding on the door.

  “Hanna! Open up. It’s Theo.”

  “The actual hell?” I fume, sta
nding and moving to the door in a rage, ready to rip him a new one. Swinging the door open, I see he looks angry, glancing around the house as if someone else is going to come popping out. “Um. Can I help you?”

  His eyes land on me, and they travel up and down the length of me, his fists balled and clenching hard, making the veins in his arms pop. I’m ashamed to say the throb between my legs returns, and there’s now a damp spot in my panties. Holy hell, he looks lethal.

  “My sister called and said someone showed up and spooked you.”

  I curse Brenda in my head. I told her not to call him. He looks angrier than what this news should’ve spurred. Why does he seem like he wants to kill someone?

  “Theo, I’m fine. You can go now, and take a chill pill while you’re at it. You look like you want to—”

  He cuts me off then, slamming into me and gripping my throat violently. I go to speak, but I’m silenced when his lips collide with mine. He’s brutal with his kiss, taking my mouth like it’s something he doesn’t care if he breaks it. I hesitate at first, but then something happens.

  My body takes over. Not my brain, because if it did, I would be pushing him away. But hell, this kiss. God. It feels so good. Incredible, and I don’t want it to stop.

  I’ve never been kissed like this before. He’s brutal, demanding, skilled, and when his tongue hits mine, I moan. He tastes like a man. A real, feral man who wants to devour me with this one kiss. And I don’t want to tame the beast. What is happening?

  Reaching up between us, he pinches my peaked nipple, and I gasp, dropping my head back and losing his mouth.

  “You keep fighting me, believing I don’t want you. You’re such a bad girl, and I should take you upstairs, slap your pink pussy, and make you understand just what I want,” he growls, stepping back and peering down at me, hunger bleeding from him, and right before he’s about to lean back in, the dogs start barking again.

  I shoot up from the couch with a gasp, my body covered in a hot sweat, my core aching with desire… and that’s when I realize it. It was all a dream. It was just a dream.

  What is happening? What was that? Why did I have such an intensely sexual and crude fantasy about Theo? I stand and head to the kitchen, getting a cold bottle of water from the fridge and taking sips.

  He’s not the guy who’s going to do those things with you. He is an enigma, Hanna. You can’t be feeding into that or fantasizing about it. Let it go, and act like it never happened, I scold myself, stunned that my subconscious did that. He’s hands-down the most attractive man I’ve ever known… and he’s unreachable.

  Let it go.

  I say it again and take my water back to the living room. The pups are no longer barking; I’m assuming I was making God knows what kinds of noises in my sleep. It must have startled them and had them waking me up. Thank the good Lord above they’re animals and can never repeat whatever noise I was making, or worse—the words I was saying.

  I lie awake for another hour or so, my mind ruminating that dream repeatedly. That can never get out. No one can ever know I had this fantasy about Theo. Ever.

  “Come on, Dorothy. Let’s go, Clyde,” I say to the pups, opening the front door with my bucket of gardening items needed to work on the white roses I want to plant along the front of the house. I have no idea what I’m doing, but the picture online was too stunning to not attempt it, and the how-to blog with was pretty clear. So, I’ll put all my faith in it. Worse thing that’ll happen is I’ll have to pull out dead bushes.

  The dogs run out and start playing in the yard, running, smelling, and rough housing with one another. It’s a sunny day with just the right amount of breeze mingling with the low-70s temperature.

  After working for nearly an hour, making great strides, I stop when my phone buzzes in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I see Jack’s name.

  “Hey, Jack. Thank you for calling me back.”

  “Of course, I got your message about the locked room. None of the keys are working?”

  Sitting back on my calves, I use the back of my hand to move the hair that’s fallen from my ponytail out of my face.

  “Correct. I was hoping to go through there and the attic next week to see if I can find anything. Family photos, anything really.” A few days ago, I found a door in JD’s study, and no keys that were given to me worked to unlock it.

  “I don’t have anything. I’m sorry; I gave you all the keys I had.”

  “Shoot. Okay, I will have to call a locksmith. Do you have a number or name for one?”

  “I sure do. I can send you the info. How’s everything else? Settling in okay?”

  I pause, thinking of how I want to answer that. “Yes, I’m doing all right. I got a job at the grocery store in town. So, it’s been a nice distraction. Still feel a little weird being here, taking up his space, not knowing who he was. There’s a daunting feeling a bit.”

  He hums. “Yes, that makes sense. No need to rush it. Take your time adjusting. I will stop by next week when I’m back in town from visiting my son. You need anything else until then, let me know.”

  “Yes, of course. Thank you for all your help, Jack.”

  “Certainly, and hey, Hanna? Your grandfather was a great man. I don’t know the whole story of why he didn’t come find you, but I do know he would want you to be happy and comfortable here. So, try to settle in. The rest will follow.”

  I look down at my hand, picking at the frayed hole in the knee of my jeans. “Yeah, sure. Thanks again, Jack. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  He says goodbye, and I take in what he said.

  “Who are you talking to?”

  I jump, shrieking, my phone flying into the dirt I just planted seeds in. Spinning, I see Theo towering over me. He looks sexy as sin in his worn jeans, Henley, and boots.

  Hanna! I scold myself.

  “You know, doorknob, you’re like a mosquito. Can’t see ya coming, and then—bam! There you are, to cause hell. What are you doing here?” I drop the tools, stand, and remove my gloves, turning to face him.

  “Ouch, greens, I was coming to check on you. My sister said you seemed spooked last night when a random person off the highway got lost in your driveway.”

  “Brenda,” I huff out. Thank God I only told her about the truck and not the dream. “I’m fine. Just got a little jumpy.”

  “Why so jumpy? You have nothing to be afraid of, right?” He places his hands on his hips, the stance and his question coming off like an interrogation.

  “What’s with the whole cop vibe?” I flap my hand at him, and he readjusts, standing normally but this time crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Just want to know why you were all jumpy. This is a small town, but we get a lot of people passing through, and they tend to get a little lost with all the random turnoffs. Don’t get too up in arms, greens.” I roll my eyes.

  “Can you not call me that?” I put my items in the bucket and head up the stairs to the front door, Theo on my heels. What is he doing here, seriously?

  “Listen, I wanted to check in. That’s all. So are you all right?” He sounds genuine. Turning before I step inside, I release a slow breath.

  “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

  “Good. Here, hand me your phone,” he says, reaching out his hand.

  “What? Why?” My brows furrow.

  “Hanna. Hand me the phone.” His voice is curt, the demand sticking to me in a way I’m afraid to admit. It was… hot.

  “Um, okay. Sure, here.” I fumble to grab my phone from my back pocket, hating that I let him see even an ounce of me interested in him. His fingertips brush against mine as he takes it. He doesn’t see me or my reaction, but that sent an electric bolt straight to my core. How embarrassing that I’m reacting this way.

  Undoubtedly, Theo is extremely attractive, and I do mean extremely. In fact, I would say he is the most handsome, well-built man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Which is why it’s important I nip this in the bud. Fawning over a man I could never bag isn’t good for my self-esteem or my lady bits.

  “I put my number in. You can call me if you ever get spooked again or if something happens and you need someone to check it out.”